Apr 19 2010

The Militia Movement and Logic

I was listening to NPR’s story on the inside of a militia group, and I have to admit, I’ve been wrong about the militias, in particular, the extreme Libertarians of the nation. They’re even dumber than they behave. To their credit, there was an interview with a militia which didn’t seem crazy, though they had guns and the usual accessories of the militia movement, but they seemed like responsible citizens with friendly and even helpful ties to the loval law enforcement.

The clip was actually part of a recording an undercover FBI agent made with a Hutaree leader. Here’s the quote:

“In this nation, we think we are free, but you need a certificate to be born, a license to drive or permit to build, a number to get a job and even a paper after you die,” he said in February, unaware that the FBI was secretly recording him. He was in a van with other members of the Hutaree driving to a militia rally in Kentucky. This was part of a speech Stone hoped to deliver there.

Let’s break down his complaint a little one by one here. First, you need a birth certificate. Aren’t these the same people howling for President Obama’s birth certificate? What would they do if there was no birth certificates issued for anybody? They would undermine their own arguments on the constitutionality of any presidential election just to complain about a piece of paper which somehow takes away their freedom. And of course, these guys are the first to complain that Obama is trashing the constitution.

But let’s move on to a license to drive. I live in a state where a former governor is in prison because he offered licenses to unqualified drivers for bribes which wound up killing people. Government is there to govern people. Taking a basic test of moderate driving competency doesn’t seem to me to be an infringment on my civil liberties, but the contrary, putting anybody on the road who fits behind the wheel, seems like it would go a good long way on infringing my right to life. Why not just ignore traffic lights, too? They seem kind of oppressive, especially when they’re Commie red.

A permit to build, well, imagine how much lesser the disaster in Haiti would have been had they had in place building codes. I know in Michigan, it isn’t very seismically active, but there’s big snows, heavy winds and floods, and other severe weather a shelter must be able to withstand. Those permits are required for a reason. You really want to trust your life to a contractor who will cut any corner for a profit and has no oversight in the form of a governmental institution?

A number to get a job. Well, the movement which argues against and begs for a government crackdown on illegal immigrants getting jobs is now aparently against the basic preventative mechanism on this issue. Of course that same number allows you to vote, so without that number, all those illegal immigrants would be electing an illegal immigrant president. This is kind of like the Minutemen complaining the government is building a fence on the border to make their pet issue more enforceable.

And a death certificate, well, if you’re dead, do you really care about one more piece of paper in your life?

These institutions which issue papers and permits evolved over a century often in response to a tragedy or disaster to protect the public, and often the call from the public was for someone to step in to help create a code to keep the public safe. You want an example? Doors that open out on public buildings? A response to a high casualty fire in Chicago where many people died due to inward opening doors which couldn’t open because of the throngs trying to leave. Fire drills? Because of a Catholic School outside Chicago where the teachers didn’t know what to do and so they prayed and dozens of children died. This is what you’re fighting here, guys. You know that?

These are the same people fighting against healthcare. Fighting to continue this system where people go bankrupt because they get sick, where insurance companies will cut you off from life saving care for their profit margin in the guise of personal responsibility. I find it ironic they are fighting against a mandate to personal responsibility in the name of personal responsibility because Fox News called the health bill a government takeover. This is America. If you hadn’t noticed, we aren’t very good at personal responsibility. We don’t do that here. It just doesn’t fit our “thing.”

I understand it. I really do. Those papers are holding you down, man. Time to grab the full auto and pretend to kill some people. Makes perfect sense.


Nov 7 2009

News Shots 11/07/09

Appendix fails to assassinate Glenn Beck

The nation asks doctors to put it back for another try.

The Golden State isn’t worth it

After analysis, the studies find that the standard of living in the high tax, high social program, big government state of California, life isn’t as good as in the  no taxes, small government state of Texas, and the residents are leaving to lower taxed states in droves.

Having seen this coming, this is why I’m an advocate of small government. Too bad there isn’t a small government-lowtax social liberal party out there for me to get behind.The Democrats every once in a while show some interest in it, especially after Clinton proclaimed the era of big government is over. The rest of the party just hasn’t come around to that concept yet.

Todd Akin gambles on the Pledge of Allegiance, Loses

If you want to use it as a political weapon, you should take care to say all the words. I’m just saying.

Cheney’s FBI interview featured 72 times where he couldn’t recall

I know Reagan got away with it, but really, he had Alzheimer’s. Cheney is just avoiding the question.

And Lo, the two party system did create a void, and out of this void came…third parties

America is seeing the problem with the two parties, and we all know that being an independent is a bad route to go (Joe Lieberman). Most of Europe has several parties (BUT THEY’RE ALL SOCIALISTS), so it’s about time we got in on the action, and allowed some more voices into the debate. It can’t get any worse (right?)

Doug Hoffman, the Conservative of NY-23 claims Glenn Beck is his hero

No wonder that race got so fucked up that the Republican candidate dropped out and endorsed the Democrat. With an election as strange as that, I’m shocked there wasn’t a former porn star or reality TV b-lister also on the ballot.

As a result of Barack Obama’s policies, lobbyists are quitting in droves

If only there were a pied piper to run the rest of them out.

Iran Accepts nuclear deal

Funny that Bush was never able to do this….

Texas and Ohio voters reject red light cameras

I think that if we can’t get this on the ballot everywhere, we should reject them like the mysterious guy in Chicago: with a cherry picker and the cover of darkness.

Carly Fiorina to run for California Senate seat

Let’s see, she nearly ruined HP and Compaq, got chased out but kept her $29 million golden parachute, and then was economic advisor to John McCain.  This is one chick that has failed upwards. The difficulty on this is she has money, connections and media savvy. The easy way to beat her is to point out how few of California’s citizens have a golden parachute in their contracts. Should be easy to paint her as one of those Wall Street types that caused this whole economic disaster, and who can’t relate to the masses like her Democratic opponent.

Michele Bachmann losing aides like Washington is losing Lobbyists

Michelle Marston has left her for being too crazy.

Michael Steele on the mid-term elections: We’re Transcendant

Presumably, the chairman meant that his party is ascendant, meaning on the rise, and not transcendent, meaning beyond the limits of comprehension.

The quote says it best.

So AT&T sued Verizon, and Verizon said, “Um well, ok.”

Seems AT&T was getting killed by the Verizon ads comparing networks, and sued, claiming false advertising. The expectation was Verizom would drop the ads and they’d settle out of court. Verizon, on the other hand, replied very simply by saying, “Prove it.” See, the burden of proof is on AT&T and if Verizon has its facts together, well, AT&T has little legal recourse.

This lamp is consumer retribution

An LED lamp that connects to the phone jack in your wall, stealing power from the phone company.

Dick Grayson

The Caustic personality of Dick Grayson

I have to admit, I like him because of one of his faults. He’s overbearing, and overbearing as a real personality fault, but this also makes him a no bullshit kind of guy, and that’s really what we need in politics.

He’s so brash, nobody wants to run opposing him

That’s one way to win an election.

The Fox News Beat

Jane Hall left Fox because of how skewed they are

She says she left because they stopped debating the issues, and because “Beck is scary”.

White House to Democrats: Stop providing balance to Fox News

I think the idea is to let Fox News continue to become more extreme and more marginalized.

Of course, by the laws of Social Newtonianism, that sort of means they must also become more extreme and marginalized. I wonder if they’ve found some sort of Social Gravitation constant I haven’t worked out quite yet.


Jun 17 2009

News Shots 06-17-09

I’ve had some computer issues, folks, and so I’m a bit behind on things like the Iran election. They had something there, right? I think I saw a news report on that, but CNN didn’t have much that was good…Actually, I’m following it. Here’s today’s interesting batch of news on that.

Boingboing: Ahmadinijad Sucks at Photoshop

Turns out you can’t just clone tool your election party victory celebration, just like you can’t use the clone tool for your ballots.

Iran Election Turnout exceeds 100% in 30 towns

The get out the vote effort really worked.

14 Videos the Iranian government doesn’t want you to see

More on that

Onto other things:

The world is about to end, just thought you should know

The Jehova’s Witnesses are going to hold 14 conventions covering how to survive the imminent end of the world. Folks, according to the Christians the world has been ending for two thousand years. I think we can stop holding our breath and just live.

On a related topic, I have a Shameless plug for one of my other projects.

The End of the World Times: A Journal of a (Hopefully) Alternate Future

Don’t ask me how somebody didn’t register endoftheworldtimes.com, but I got it, and this is the idea: It is 2012, and the apocalypse has happened. The 5% of humanity that is left clings desperately for survival. This newspaper serves as a travel guide covering survival niches in this world.

And another alternate future

This time, what if McCain had won?

I’d certainly call it a suspicious package

Just read it. Worth its weight in comedic gold.

The Obama Reform train keeps rolling, and I approve of all of these.

Like the ninja

Uhhh…..see what happened wuz…

William Jefferson Davis claims the FBI planted that marked money in his freezer next to the Lean Cuisine.


Feb 3 2009

What Republicans object to in the stimulus package


This is from CNN’s list. The comments in parentheses are why the Republicans oppose them.

• $2 billion earmark to re-start FutureGen, a near-zero emissions coal power plant in Illinois that the Department of Energy defunded last year because it said the project was inefficient.

(Because coal should be dirty, global warming isn’t real is it?)

• A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers to buy motion picture film.

(They should shoot on digital)

• $650 million for the digital television converter box coupon program.

(just buy a new TV. You don’t need to eat and it makes jobs….in China)

• $88 million for the Coast Guard to design a new polar icebreaker (arctic ship).

(Hey, if global warming is true, we won’t need this…right?)

• $448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters.

(until now they’ve been squatting at VP’s place)

• $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters.

(personally I think they should sit on the floor)

• $600 million to buy hybrid vehicles for federal employees.

(I told you before, global warming isn’t real!)

• $400 million for the Centers for Disease Control to screen and prevent STD’s.

(But this encourages promiscuity. Oh we can’t have that)

• $1.4 billion for rural waste disposal programs.

• $125 million for the Washington sewer system.

(We all know how much shit flows around there)

• $150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities.

(Because we all know how much Republicans hate learning)

• $1 billion for the 2010 Census, which has a projected cost overrun of $3 billion.

• $75 million for “smoking cessation activities.”

(This will destroy an industry and allow millions of people to lead healthier lives!)

• $200 million for public computer centers at community colleges.

(I told you, we like ‘em dumb. That’s the economy of tomorrow. We need to deal with today’s issues. We don’t need computer smarts, we can always farm that out to India. Who will be my Joe the Plumber?)

• $75 million for salaries of employees at the FBI.

(Because we won’t even let Obama fight terrorism.)

• $25 million for tribal alcohol and substance abuse reduction.

(That’s their problem)

• $500 million for flood reduction projects on the Mississippi River.

(THERE IS NO GLOBAL WARMING!!!!)

• $10 million to inspect canals in urban areas.

• $6 billion to turn federal buildings into “green” buildings.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (I’m not going to tell you again)

• $500 million for state and local fire stations.

(We all know how good the Republicans are at disaster relief)

• $650 million for wildland fire management on forest service lands.

(See above)

• $1.2 billion for “youth activities,” including youth summer job programs.

(Screw the young people. There aren’t any in this party. Creating jobs for youth only takes jobs away from older people who have been laid off.)

• $88 million for renovating the headquarters of the Public Health Service.

(And this creates jobs how?)

• $412 million for CDC buildings and property.

(You’re just trying to give people jobs now. Who cares about fighting disease?)

• $500 million for building and repairing National Institutes of Health facilities in Bethesda, Maryland.

(Don’t make me repeat myself)

• $160 million for “paid volunteers” at the Corporation for National and Community Service.

(God save us from community organizers.)

• $5.5 million for “energy efficiency initiatives” at the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

• $850 million for Amtrak.

(Trains? do those even exist in America?)

• $100 million for reducing the hazard of lead-based paint.

(Hey, lead is lead.)

• $75 million to construct a “security training” facility for State Department Security officers when they can be trained at existing facilities of other agencies.

(Again with the construction jobs. You’re in bed with the unions)

• $110 million to the Farm Service Agency to upgrade computer systems.

(What do farms need with computers?)

• $200 million in funding for the lease of alternative energy vehicles for use on military installations.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

If you liked this, please give it a stumble, or a digg, or a buzz….


Jan 31 2009

News haul

Three more months of annoying commercials?

The Senate is still afraid of the DTV switch. They think that after 6 months of commercials and news on every TV station, some people might not be ready. The people who are not ready at this point are either world-class procrastinators or NOT WATCHING THEIR TELEVISION. That or they have been skipping over the commercials on their DVRs. We’re only like 15 years behind the Japanese on this one. Let’s hope the House votes it down again.

George Carlin’s FBI files

My favorite part is where they call him an “Alleged comedian”.

The Republicans found a Black Man in their ranks…

It’s almost like they’re saying “See, we’ve got one too.” Looks like they found their own magic Negro.

Right up to the eve of his victorious race, Mr. Steele faced down vicious, often anonymous accusations that he lacks a philosophical or ideological core and is really a social liberal.

On Thursday night, RNC members found under the door of their hotel rooms a one-page flier with the picture of a toilet-paper roll unspooling at top of the page and the headline: “Soft is fine for toilet paper but not for a chairman of the Republican National Committee.”

Good to see they haven’t lost their touch.

…And he waits a whole day before saying something stupid

“You and I know that in the history of mankind and womankind, government—federal, state or local—has never created one job,” he said. “It’s destroyed a lot of them.”

I’m not the only one who noticed

The Republicans have become obstinate about anything the Democrats once. Sore Losers. Pussies.

Obama’s Brother arrested for Drugs. There’s no pardon for this one.

He’s from the Kenyan Obamas.

Scott McClellan continues to be my hero.

You should read this whole thing.